我怀念的

我怀念的是无话不说

我怀念的是一起做梦

我怀念的是分开以后

依然相聚谈笑的缘分

我记得那段日子

也记得那首首歌

记得那片星空

最紧的握手

最真的友情

忘不了

（改编自孙燕姿的“我怀念的”）

学校放假，闲来无事，于是再次放纵地游览网络。岂知，路过朋友的部落格，突然惊觉自己离开怡保的故友已很远很远了。不是在距离上那么简单，而是曾经同窗欢闹的故友，如今却如陌生人般，拥有各自的世界：不见我影儿的世界。

这是种什么样的心态呢？是羡慕，也是遗憾吧。。。羡慕他们依然可以并肩走在织梦的路上；遗憾，我只能是个读者，听众。想不到，这种感受，过了两年，亦在，仍在。。。

如今，故友纷纷各分东西，走上自己的道路，寻找属于自己的明天。几何，能再相聚呢？那天，其中一位故友问我，几时可以再见？我不假思索地回答：明年！甚至，我还说，不管对方在多远，我都会找时间去见对方。

真的吗？我犹豫了。当然，可以做到就真的很好。但，事与愿违也是常常发生。而且，他日再见，情依然吗？或许有些真的会因少联系而淡薄，难免的吧！已经有很多，是淡薄了。曾经一个世界，今已两个世界。得失之间，我还是沉陷失界多。。。

哥说，离开中学后，就得忘却中学的一切，展望未来，发掘全新的自己。我明白他的意思。他并不是说连友谊也得忘却。但是，正是这友谊，及昔日种种喜怒哀乐的乐曲，使我一直放不下，使我不时地怀念。怀念，固是甜，却也酸。尤其走在只有微风相伴的路上，头上的云朵似有似无，不知觉就会走进时光隧道，想着明日的种种可能。

好怀念，一切。

こぶし座

I went to this kobushiza, where we could see some trandisional dances and drum beatings of Japan. There were just five of them who performed non-stopped for 1 and a half hour. It was really an enjoyable time, hearing the beatings of the drum straight into my heart. Then, let's the pictures do the speaking.

There was a period for us, the spectators to try on the drum beating. I did take part, but there was no picture taken on me. Anyway, I wish i could learn it someday.

Here comes the Japan Lion Dance! A bit weird for me, as i am used to the Chinese one. See, there was just one people to dance the lion.

Well, it does have some similiar parts with the Chinese one. SEE!

Trying to disturb the sleeping lion.

And the lion woke up all in a sudden!

This lion dance is played to keep people away from any bad luck. So, the lion will go around and touch your head with its mouth, blessing you in the same time. I was the first person to get that! Well, no picture was taken again, so what i had is just the below one.

Well, i must say that their determinations on keeping the playing of tradisional culture did remind me of what i have missed so far.

"Thanks to the Western culture, are we losing our root on Chinese culture, or even the Malaysia culture nowadays?" What i do know, is that there are many who struggle to keep holding on our tradisional culture. They work very hard, in a limited space. What can we do to help them, and help ourselves, not forgetting our next generation?

「その灯を消すな」　Keep the lights on. 别让灯火熄灭。

Cooking

The school has to be closed for 2 days all in a sudden, due to a student who infected some kind of pestilence. So, no one is allowed to go into the school compound until this sunday. Then, all the students who live in the hostel were advised to go home. Yes, only the foreign students are left behind. Well, we couldn't go home no matter how, right? So, for these few days, the hostel is indeed quiet, and we are just liked the king here! haha...

Well, the canteen was closed too. I have no choice but to cook myself. I do know that i need to cook myself oneday, but not as soon as now! I really didn't have any idea what to cook. I can't just eat instant noodles for 4 days! And 1 more thing, i don't have any cooking experince before. What i did, was just standing beside of my mom and watched her cooked!

However, i must say that even though i was just standing there and watching, somehow or rather, i 'know' how to cook geh!!

Ok, it is very easy to cook noodle, or so-called ramen. I cooked the Cintan Mee at home many times before. But this was the first time i put in some meats. And that was goat meat!

It was ramen again, but different ingredients. But the taste was not as good as the first one.

Liked i said, I can't just east ramen everytime, so i came out with this: a plate of mix vegetables. Giving it as my first time, the result was still ok for me, but not enough salt, i think. Really miss the homemade one. I feel liked trying to cook some soup next time. But that only can be done after making some calls back to home. Let's see what i can do next time.

杂感

納吉代表首相兼國內安全部長拿督斯里阿都拉說，內閣深入討論新山犯罪個案，並鑑於新山犯罪率大幅提昇，決定增援新山警力。“第一，內閣同意國內安全部撥款600萬令吉租下3間店屋，作為儘速成立新山3個新警區的過渡方案；第二，內閣同意警方如期在今年8月在新山落實增派400名警員的建議；第三，增派200輛普騰巡邏車及訓練有素的巡邏車司機前往新山展開巡邏工作，改善地方治安。” （星洲日報•2007.06.21）

不把心中的愤怒写出来，我仿佛不能让心情平复。但是，我写了又写，却总是写不下去。一方面是因为我所知甚肤浅；一方面是因为我对自己要求高。然而最主要的是，一件事牵连甚广。好比一个治安问题，不单只是警民之间的事，还关联到教育，经济，甚至政治。警方的失职，社会贫富悬殊，公民意识。。。我会不禁想把全部事情一一尝试论述，结果越写越多，也越乱，失去了最初的焦点。

我无意泼冷水，但是我心里总有个疑问：“全国人民都签名拼治安，我们就会得到蓝天吗？”无可否认，发动万人签名运动将是向当权者展示我们的不满及不安的方法。更是把自己投入这场向罪犯宣战的表示。无疑大家都对现况非常不满，尤其近日一连发生几宗天理不容的罪案，更是打破了群众长久以来的沉默。大家都只想要个平平安安的生活。

可是，去年拉曼学生遇害一事不也是引起各界人士的极力反弹吗？不也是搞了一场又一场的签名运动吗？那时也是天天报章刊登，也是被当权者指称媒体过度渲染。以及，也是不了了之。如今，那件案件到底是怎样了，没有人知道。就连遇害者的家属也称说他们毫不知情警方的调查结果。据警方说，他们已结案了。那么，嫌犯呢？接受审讯了？

我其实想说的是，集合签名所带来的效果可能是短暂的。一旦报章少跟进这新闻，事情会不会慢慢离开群众的视线呢？但愿不会，虽然我无法令自己乐观看待。年复一年，同样的戏码会发生在我国。可惜，向来都不是值得庆祝的戏码。是的，我们会在事情发生后立刻极力想有关当局提出抗议、呼喊心声。但我们却会不约而同在不久后患上健忘症般地“休息”一切行动。我们似乎很缺乏持续性的施压及关注。就好像大学收生制般，几年来都会一再提起苹果与橙的不公平比较，却总在大学开课后“消声灭迹”，然后再下一年又在重新提起。你看，去年一再被催促透明化的课外活动评分制又让多少学生梦断象牙塔门前！年复一年。。。

监督工作也好，施压也好，呼喊心声也好，是不能停歇的工作。不然，我们还是会再一次愤怒，再一次不满。悲剧，也再一次又一次的发生。当然最好的方法依然是政策在推行实施上没有偏差没有疏忽，尽心尽力到底。

好了，现在政府“终于”正视新山的治安问题，三管齐下以期改善新山治安。警区多了，还会发生报案不受理的事吗？警员多了，漏网之鱼还会逍遥法外，酿造另一个悲剧吗？巡逻车多了，我们可以安安心心走在街上了吗？抱歉，我还是抱持不乐观心态。也许是因为我是悲观主义的。但追根究底，是谁使我变成悲观主义者呢？

国家兴亡，匹夫有责。代表匹夫的喉舌们，他们都在干什么呢？也许有人会说，至少我们这班尊贵的喉舌没发生犹如有些国家般的丢椅子、大打出手等不文明似的事故。所以，我们因此就可以说我们这班喉舌就相较起来地好吗？我想，没有多少人能给与他们过高肯定。花时间在些与政经文教相比简直是芝麻绿豆的事上，还要不时口出狂言，屡出歪论，能不冷了大家的心吗？错了仍不知悔改，其他喉舌还尽力为之辩护，说什么是听者缺乏幽默感之故！原来这才是幽默，还真让全世界大开眼界！再不然就是指责媒体扭曲他们的说法，或者怪责媒体过度渲染使到国誉蒙损。还好，咱们的眼睛是雪亮的。事实，逃不过我们的眼睛。

官老爷们看到事实吗？也许有些是贵人事忙，没时间看到。君不见其中一人说：“我们每天都很忙，哪有时间去中央医院拿药？还要和民众一起等待。。。（省略）”。他们真得很忙！所以有时候他们否认明摆在眼前的事实，也难怪他们。他们忙到没时间去留心！但我相信他们都是怀疑主义者，因为他们都不轻易相信任何调查报告。不管是本地的，还是外国的，他们都会去怀疑。之前的全球大学排行榜，到最近的全球贪污排行榜，都清楚看到他们怀疑主义者的踪迹。吊跪的是，己方提出的任何数据或言论，他们总不会去怀疑。

写到这里，我又失去了方向。脑中盘旋着无数的意见，恨不得能一一道之出来，却总理不出条思路。也不知从几时开始，国家前景成为了我郁郁不安的最大因素。尤其当我知道越多负面的事；尤其当改变迟迟不出现；尤其当我觉得无可奈何。。。

是我己人忧天吗？是我只看片面没看清楚全面吗？是我想太多了吗？为什么我就不能像许多同龄般尽情享乐青春呢？如许多人般今朝有酒今朝醉的，不就好了啊！又何苦想那些国家前景的问题呢？

首先是政府大楼漏水、新建大楼有裂痕，再来是尊贵的议员口出月漏论及其他妙论。接着，首都大水灾，新山治安人人惊慌。。。这只是我离开祖国三个月发生的一些显著事件，还不包括“刚好”没动静的各政经文教问题。冰冻三尺，非一日之寒。再加上有许多小拿破仑，抱着上有政策下有对策的心态，说要有改变还真难上加难！难道我们真得如一大人物般，说我们并非弹丸之地，说要好好治理是非常难，类似的话来阿Q精神一番吗？说到这弹丸之地就较易治理的说法，还真无法使人完全信服。一个城市，比起一个国家，不也只是个弹丸之地吗？那为何只是一个城市的治安也得等到人民呐喊，报章大事报道后才有所行动，有所改变呢？

看来，我还是很无知，只能在这对各种事情蜻蜓点水一番，到最后却提不出什么有效方案。一味批判却给不出什么建设性的意见也是徒劳无功的。因此，我必须停笔。不然，我可能没完没了地写下去，没完没了地走在批判无建设的线上。我还需要学习，非常需要学习。希望下一次我不会再只是单纯地说词，提出一个又一个的反问句。

更希望，下一次我阅览新闻时，不会再感叹无奈，唉声叹气。

p/s: Sorry for those who couldn't read this, as i only can express it in chinese...my English is not so powerful yet.

Hiking Mt.Hakodate

Last Sunday, my host family took us(just 4 of us, as others were busy) to go for hiking Mt.Hakodate. Well, it is not very high mountain, just took us around 45 minutes to reach the top. But it was the first time we had a view from the top in daylight (Mt.Hakodate is a top spot for night view of Hakodate City!). This time we got a clearer look of the city. Well, picture tells a thousand words...


"Let's take a picture before we start our day!"






"Let's take a rest..."

Well, you can reach the top with the cable-car, instead of walking or driving.

Great view!!! Especially the blue sea...


Hakodate City

Super zoom in with my friend's camera.

This was taken from another spot. WOW!!

Then we had our lunch on the top of mountain. All of the food was well prepared by our host family. How nice they are! And the food were very delicios! But of course, they were no match with our Malaysia food. Malaysia boleh! Haha...

Walking Through Memories

I don’t know why, but I kept walking into my past recently. Well, it is not a big matter for doing so. But, I wonder what makes me so keen on walking into the past, especially when I was in the class, where I am supposed to pay attention to the teacher. Ok, may be I was doing it to make myself awaked, as you know, it is very easy to get sleepy in the class.

But, is that so? Thinking back just to get rid of the sleepy mood?

When someone misses another person, he or she will wish to meet the person right away. Then, what if he or she couldn’t meet the person right away? Well, as a Chinese saying goes, 睹物思人(du wu si ren), which means one may think of someone by seeing something related to him or her. No, I am not talking out of topic. What I want to say is, “I miss them, but I can’t do anything, not even睹物思人. So, I have to walk back, and see them again.”

I miss my family, my home. May God bless them!
I miss my friends. I think I can’t find anyone who can be as close as them here.
I miss the Malaysia food, especially the homemade one. Not forgetting the nasi lemak, roti canai, etc.
I miss the activities I had before. Debate, student reporter, camping, organizing……
I miss Malaysia, my country, with the people and the beauty. No matter what, I will go back.

Now, I can just go through them again with my memories. I got myself impressed by all the moments, especially the time when I did stupid things, ha! How good it will be if we could go back and experience them again. However, past is past. Past can just be a great treasure for us, so that we could learn from the past.

I won’t dare to put myself too much into the past. Though it is a great time to dream back the old days, our path is beyond. Yes, don’t let yourself regret one day for not making good use of our life before.

Oh, am I crapping? Well, it is just some feeling I wish to let out.

“人生的意义是什么我不知道。我只知道，我得把每一天都过得充实，有价值。”
I don’t know the meaning of life. But I do know, I have to live my life worthy.

花踪

享誉国际的花踪文学奖再次圆满结束。而我，也再次只是个旁观者。一个妄想有天自己也能找到花踪的旁观者。为什么是妄想呢？

唉，无他，乃是自知自明也！不要说首奖之水平，就连佳作奖我也高攀不起啊！花踪，每当报章上刊登花踪征文的消息时，我都会有股冲劲去挑战自己的文字能力，却一直没有落实过。。。

没有灵感，更没有信心。。。

一直都希望，能身处于一个洋溢写作风气的学习环境，有良师指导，有同好者相互激发。若能如此，则今日我在文字路上一路走来或不需如此冒冒失失。不知优在那，劣在那，甚至有种感觉已上不了更高一层楼。事与愿违，世事总不尽完美。除了继续鞭策自己手不离笔之外，暂时也别无他法了吧？

时常听友人说我文笔很好，其实我却自愧不已！描写文、抒情文，胸中文字缺丰盛；议论文、说明文，脑里论说不透彻。如此之庸才，又怎敢班门弄斧呢？

花的踪影，会让我在有朝一日找寻到吗？尽管机会渺茫，持梦总是必需的。不然，人生岂不失了点意义？妄想，就让自己先继续妄想吧！