当初有幸得到政府奖学金，让我得以远赴樱花国留学，其实是我从来都没奢想过的事情。甚至应该说，我是多么的孤陋寡闻，竟然天真地以为政府奖学金只限定于欧美国家。所以听到外国月亮比较圆的说辞时，脑里浮现的都是西洋的映像。直到我身在其中，才知道留学日本的机会其实是源自于1982年的向东学习计划，也才知道向东学习计划原来不只是空喊口号说要效仿日本的工作态度而已的。对于我这天真又无知，我真是除了惭愧，还是惭愧。
回说这向东学习计划，自1982年起，政府每年遣送接近500名，包括学生，研究人员，学术人员，技术人员，专业人士等前往日本或深造或进修，甚至磨练。其中有多少是仍在樱花国度那打拼的我不得而知，但若说我们祖国能有今日发展与成就，很大程度是受惠于这向东学习计划，显然不会言过其实。哪怕是学成归国的直接付出，还是身在海外的间接贡献，反正就是无法全盘否认其成果，尽管事实上我们看不到那日本式的认真工作态度有很好地出现在咱们的公共服务领域里。
然而这些都不是我的重点。万幸之下的樱花国度，我的踏足如今已步入第五年，也可能是最后一年。喜欢回首的我，当然也不例外地在这最后驿站回头一看再看。第一个浮现在我脑海里的是：“四年了，我学到了什么？”这问题下的回答，可以是知识上的增长，可以是个人上的成长。若把这问题与向东学习计划挂钩的话又是如何呢？——“向东学习四年，我学了什么呢？”
也就是，抛开各种经历各种境遇后的感知与得知，单单看日本这国家给予我的作业，我到底学到了什么呢？是那闻名于世的暂新科技技术吗？还是那众人所说的菊花与剑的东洋文化？我于是给了自己一个课外功课，也就是把自己向东学习后学到的东西一一列出来。也许实际上并没有学成，而只是惊叹或只是一闪而过的念头；又或许其中有太多已经因为没有及时刻下而白白流逝而去，但至少要让自己对得起当初下定决心来日本的初衷。
若问，向东学习，学了什么，你会答什么呢？
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
those days, the thoughts
1. i was in malaysia, when the world over there had turned upside down.
2. if not a phone call from ntv7, asking for any contact numbers of friends in tokyo, i wouldn't have known it, not until my dad turned on the tv for news at the usual time.
3. i asked my mom to help me resubscribed astro before i came back, to watch soccer games in the first place, but had turned out to be a savior for me, as i could get latest updates from nhk itself.
4. my brother, who first wouldn't be back until the next weekend, was at home with a 4G yes device, became my another savior, as i could log on to internet to check my friends's safety and their following status.
5. though the handphones were mostly downed for some time, much to my relief, everyone of them is fine and safe. thank god!
6. relatives kept calling in, and were relieved that i came back at the right time. i couldn't agree more, as i can see how relieved my family is, when their son is safe at home at that moment.
7. but surely no more holiday mood i guess, as many who i concern with are still staying in japan, with plenty of unknowns following the quake.
8. instead of feeling lucky, sometimes it is more like unsettled, for being so far away when first hand information is crucial, and for being unable to do anything, for being at home while many are in surge of anxiety.
9. i ignored all those uncivilized comments and reactions about the quake, but focused on identifying the truth behind every information and every news, and tried to explain to those who were concerning about the current situation.
10. leaking of radiation from nuclear plant, another strong earthquake is expected to occur within days, shortage of food and water, people fleeing from japan, but, it is not the end of world. they are sending aid, they are searching for survivors, they are fighting to fix things right, they are bringing things back on track. there is still, hope and love. things will get better soon, i do believe, and i truly believe.
11. unless it has turned into the worst case, i'm going back there. just like what i say when someone asking whether i'm going back for malaysia or not, my answer is always: yes, i'm going back. that's what my heart is saying, and i always follow Her.
recorded from 311 until 320
2. if not a phone call from ntv7, asking for any contact numbers of friends in tokyo, i wouldn't have known it, not until my dad turned on the tv for news at the usual time.
3. i asked my mom to help me resubscribed astro before i came back, to watch soccer games in the first place, but had turned out to be a savior for me, as i could get latest updates from nhk itself.
4. my brother, who first wouldn't be back until the next weekend, was at home with a 4G yes device, became my another savior, as i could log on to internet to check my friends's safety and their following status.
5. though the handphones were mostly downed for some time, much to my relief, everyone of them is fine and safe. thank god!
6. relatives kept calling in, and were relieved that i came back at the right time. i couldn't agree more, as i can see how relieved my family is, when their son is safe at home at that moment.
7. but surely no more holiday mood i guess, as many who i concern with are still staying in japan, with plenty of unknowns following the quake.
8. instead of feeling lucky, sometimes it is more like unsettled, for being so far away when first hand information is crucial, and for being unable to do anything, for being at home while many are in surge of anxiety.
9. i ignored all those uncivilized comments and reactions about the quake, but focused on identifying the truth behind every information and every news, and tried to explain to those who were concerning about the current situation.
10. leaking of radiation from nuclear plant, another strong earthquake is expected to occur within days, shortage of food and water, people fleeing from japan, but, it is not the end of world. they are sending aid, they are searching for survivors, they are fighting to fix things right, they are bringing things back on track. there is still, hope and love. things will get better soon, i do believe, and i truly believe.
11. unless it has turned into the worst case, i'm going back there. just like what i say when someone asking whether i'm going back for malaysia or not, my answer is always: yes, i'm going back. that's what my heart is saying, and i always follow Her.
recorded from 311 until 320
i come with the rain
记得年前有部电影，名为i come with the rain，是一部日本明星木村拓哉也有份参与的跨国电影。
不过，别问我内容是如何，因为我并没看过。
提它，只是因那标题：i come with the rain，总是会在我回到家园后，不时出现在我脑海里。
那个不时，是当一滴接一滴的雨滴嘀嗒在我门前屋瓦上之时；
那个不时，也在当一点又一点的雨点点缀在跟前的地上之时。
――也许，我是一名带雨者。
――It always rains whenever I'm back.
这一天，是我回来后的第十二天，也是连续下雨的第十二天。
云说，只是刚好遇上雨季而已，一切纯属巧合，根本没有所谓的带雨不带雨。
但人们不都总是会把事情盖上一层神秘面纱，而且还会喜欢把自己幻想成与众不同吗？
红色大披风，小孩说是飞去拯救世界的时候，我们笑之为童真；
黄色大月亮，大人说是大地产生异象的源头，我们视之为缺知。
那么，凡凡如我，调皮地天马行空一番，也不为过吧？
——所以，我是一名带雨者。
我回来，雨也跟着来，把闷闷的空气都一洒而散。
我回来，雨也随着来，把燥燥的心绪都一扫而空。
然后，
我带来的这雨，可以把弥漫在地球另一边的悲情阴霾都驱散掉；
我带来的这雨，可以浇溉不止大地也浇熄怒火，烟火，及战火。
甚至，一滴滴的雨点，是一巴又一巴的耳光，打在那些高高在上却无视良知的无知人。
——结果，我只是一名赏雨者。
听着雨滴打在屋瓦上，看着雨点填满屋前的空地，
我发现我已经忘了西北季候风是哪一个月驾临半岛西海岸。
我是越来越不了解，还是我从来都没去了解过，那些身在我周围的南洋椰林呢？
为了回避自责，我一厢情愿地选择了前者。
然而，我还是在转角处遇到了它。
笔于二零一一年三月二十日
不过，别问我内容是如何，因为我并没看过。
提它，只是因那标题：i come with the rain，总是会在我回到家园后，不时出现在我脑海里。
那个不时，是当一滴接一滴的雨滴嘀嗒在我门前屋瓦上之时；
那个不时，也在当一点又一点的雨点点缀在跟前的地上之时。
――也许，我是一名带雨者。
――It always rains whenever I'm back.
这一天，是我回来后的第十二天，也是连续下雨的第十二天。
云说，只是刚好遇上雨季而已，一切纯属巧合，根本没有所谓的带雨不带雨。
但人们不都总是会把事情盖上一层神秘面纱，而且还会喜欢把自己幻想成与众不同吗？
红色大披风，小孩说是飞去拯救世界的时候，我们笑之为童真；
黄色大月亮，大人说是大地产生异象的源头，我们视之为缺知。
那么，凡凡如我，调皮地天马行空一番，也不为过吧？
——所以，我是一名带雨者。
我回来，雨也跟着来，把闷闷的空气都一洒而散。
我回来，雨也随着来，把燥燥的心绪都一扫而空。
然后，
我带来的这雨，可以把弥漫在地球另一边的悲情阴霾都驱散掉；
我带来的这雨，可以浇溉不止大地也浇熄怒火，烟火，及战火。
甚至，一滴滴的雨点，是一巴又一巴的耳光，打在那些高高在上却无视良知的无知人。
——结果，我只是一名赏雨者。
听着雨滴打在屋瓦上，看着雨点填满屋前的空地，
我发现我已经忘了西北季候风是哪一个月驾临半岛西海岸。
我是越来越不了解，还是我从来都没去了解过，那些身在我周围的南洋椰林呢？
为了回避自责，我一厢情愿地选择了前者。
然而，我还是在转角处遇到了它。
笔于二零一一年三月二十日
回首
果然，还是免不了地回首过去一番。
尤其当学弟们找出当年的校刊，一起围看着从报纸上剪出来的报道时，
我眼前更是瞬间播放当年的种种点点滴滴。
有老狼主演的进可攻后可守，有老鸭生动展现的天鸭式飞翔法；
有老猪弹指之间的东宫西宫，有老鲨默默无语支撑大局的画面。
黑鸡的冷笑话永远不嫌冷，熊猫的太可爱永远不嫌厌；
当然还有半途下马寻花的两位，以及一直游游离离之中的小苍蝇。
走在草场边，我想起学兄如何把我们好玩踢水罐的一幕录下来作为铁证来教训我们。
走过课室边，我想起多少次曾经在里面被单挑被群挑，被磨练被检讨。
然后渐渐地，我们必须靠自己，从被检讨变成检讨人。
尽管，我们是那么的乳臭未干，甚至自身难保的。
不过，好歹都把承这字，做得有模有样的。
看着当年的学弟如今已能独当一面，我是如此安慰自己那较为空白的成绩单的。
回到现实，看着如今的这一班学弟，我有万般滋味又有谁能分享呢？
不禁想起，离开上一次大家齐聚一堂，已是多年前的事了。
虽说有了面子书，大家的近况多少还能轻易掌握。
然而，大伙儿一起笑哈哈相互互损的情景，才是我最盼之能重现的美好。
——笔于二零一一年三月二十二日——
尤其当学弟们找出当年的校刊，一起围看着从报纸上剪出来的报道时，
我眼前更是瞬间播放当年的种种点点滴滴。
有老狼主演的进可攻后可守，有老鸭生动展现的天鸭式飞翔法；
有老猪弹指之间的东宫西宫，有老鲨默默无语支撑大局的画面。
黑鸡的冷笑话永远不嫌冷，熊猫的太可爱永远不嫌厌；
当然还有半途下马寻花的两位，以及一直游游离离之中的小苍蝇。
走在草场边，我想起学兄如何把我们好玩踢水罐的一幕录下来作为铁证来教训我们。
走过课室边，我想起多少次曾经在里面被单挑被群挑，被磨练被检讨。
然后渐渐地，我们必须靠自己，从被检讨变成检讨人。
尽管，我们是那么的乳臭未干，甚至自身难保的。
不过，好歹都把承这字，做得有模有样的。
看着当年的学弟如今已能独当一面，我是如此安慰自己那较为空白的成绩单的。
回到现实，看着如今的这一班学弟，我有万般滋味又有谁能分享呢？
不禁想起，离开上一次大家齐聚一堂，已是多年前的事了。
虽说有了面子书，大家的近况多少还能轻易掌握。
然而，大伙儿一起笑哈哈相互互损的情景，才是我最盼之能重现的美好。
——笔于二零一一年三月二十二日——
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