再见凤舞飞扬

很久没有握笔把心情记载下来。自从有了部落格，心情、想法都是直接用键盘在指尖挥舞下划出来。难免的，有时会觉得硬绷绷，因为失去了一笔一划的文字感。还有就是，失去了凤舞飞扬——我为自己的字体而取的名字。

很多文字工作者也是如此吧？要么依然钟情于手握笔杆的感觉，要么已习惯了电脑键盘的日子。没有是非对错，见仁见智嘛！但我本身始终觉得，不管键盘能如何快速且方便地挥洒文字，也不及手握笔杆，一笔一划游走纸上的感觉。最重要的是，用手写字，对我来说是使我不忘记华文的道路之一。若长期使用电脑使用键盘，我会不会有天忘了怎样书写那美丽的华文字呢？

曾经有个朋友说，尽管有了部落格，他还是坚持先写出来，才一个字一个字地输入电脑。如今他是否仍然如此坚持，我无从得知。但是就这个坚持而言，我是敬佩他的。至少显示他不懒惰于写字，反而是在丢弃笔杆上努力偷懒。

突然觉得，用笔写文章比较能一气呵成地写到句点。没有多加思索，没顾虑语法对错多少；下笔如流水似的，写了就是写了！唯一的代价可能是字体潦草不已。想起两年在首都求学时，时常利用老师派下来的纸张背面咬文嚼字。多少豪言，多少怒言，都是在那纸背上留下痕迹。那字体，后来重看时，还真是潦草不已。但是那潦草却是非常的痛快！尤其当我飞也似的挥舞笔尖时，仿佛那一刻我才真正“实在”！也就是实在地感觉我不钝，那生活的空洞感也不见。至少有觉得，脑筋在运动着；久违的运动着。。。

说笔杆写字，竟也写到如此。开始时，只是纯粹想动一动笔，却没想到一发不可收拾；果然是下笔如流水似的。也许这就是所谓的：不到最后，不知发生什么事。所以，别轻言放弃。走下去，结果可能是意想不到的。

蓝海。浪文

3-5-2007

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收拾房间时，找到这篇去年我随意写的文章。才惊觉，我已很久没有握笔写文章了。虽然，还不至于忘记华文字，但是还是觉得愧对她。其实前一阵子已经有些“症状”，显示我渐渐只能在键盘上把心情想法写出来。面对一张白纸，我反而只能断断续续地写出几个字，根本不成文章。没想到，凤舞飞扬已和我渐行渐远，难得我给了她如此漂亮的名字。。。

孤独六讲

当初为什么会对她一见钟情，我其实也不太懂。反正，感情这事儿本来就是不可思议，难以理解。也许，一切都是因为她的第一句话：“孤独没有什么不好。使孤独变得不好，是因为你害怕孤独。”

蒋勋，台湾画家、诗人、作家。印象中，以前逛书店时而有在书架上看过蒋老师的名字，但却从没有拿来翻阅过。大概是那些书名吸引不到我吧。不过，这一次我却毫不犹豫地买了这本书回来。《孤独六讲》，顾名思义说的是孤独。咋听之下，你是否会觉得孤独这词是悲观的呢？

“孤独和寂寞不一样。寂寞会发慌，孤独则是饱满，是庄子说的‘独与天地精神往来’；是李白举杯邀明月，对影成三人的自豪孤独；是登山到顶峰‘振衣千仞岗，濯足万里流’的圆满状态。”

我好像说得太快了。。。先说说，我与她的邂逅吧！或者应该说，当我与她第一次见面时的心情。与其说是想要了解她，倒不如说我是希望能得到肯定。

——我想要为我的孤独找一个肯定。——

不知从几时开始，我有了个“坏习惯”。当大家热热闹闹的时候，我喜欢在旁边沉默；甚至我会把事情都往自己身上推，把自己支开人群。有意无意的，我会使自己一个人。为什么呢？也许是可以看到更多，想到更多吧。也也许，是不善于那些场合。我也不太清楚。当然，如此一来究竟孰是孰非，我也并非没有怀疑过。偶尔，我还是会想念那大伙儿尽兴的时光，进而反问自己：孤独之需在否？

“孤独是一种沉淀，而孤独沉淀后的思维是清明。”

蒋老师从六个层面，即情欲、语言、革命、暴力、思维、伦理，来分析其中的孤独。我初看这六个层面，还真是不明白孤独与他们的关系何在。不过，随着一页又一页的文字，一次又一次的思维激荡，我终于看到，所谓的孤独是何在。当然，蒋老师的论述，我也不尽是苟同的。这也符合他在书中一再强调的事情：思辨。思考，分辨对错，才下结论。

那么最终我是否有从她那儿得到什么肯定呢？也许有，或许没有。反正，能再次闻到久违的书香，并且踏上一段思维路，我已满足了。若你有机会读这本书，也许你会更明白孤独，也许不会。不过，我相信，你将对孤独有个全新的认识。

嗯，我孤独，但是我不孤单，也不寂寞。

“孤独是生命圆满的开始。没有和自己独处的经验，不会懂得和别人相处。”

Short Trip Part 2

In the first part, we were walking around the mountain area. As for this second part, we followed another local tour for a coast trip instead.

I just love to be next to the sea, admiring Her, hearing Her......

Ok, back to the trip. The first destination was this space memorial hall, founded by the first astronaut of Japan, who was born in that small town - 余市. Unfortunately, we were given just 15 minutes to go inside. Well, that's called tour, you can't help but stick to the schedule.

Well, It didn't stop us from getting a ride on this space walking machine.

And also jumping up and down by using one-sixth of the gravitation force of Earth, which means the force of gravity of Moon. It was really fun to be able to jump so high anyway.

Then we continue our journey, and saw some stones like this. Nature does surprise us alot.

Does it look like someone pointing his or her finger under the sea?

Here we are, one of the hundred must-see-scenery of Japan(that's what written on the board).

I must say sometimes picture can't tell a thousand words. The water is very clear, the scenery is amazing, the whole sight is ...... Ok, I am lacked of vocabulary. One thing I'm pretty sure, it is really a must-see-scenery.

And here is another beautiful sight-seeing place.

First, I was stunned by the green of that place.

And here it is. By the way, the wind was blowing very strong around that area. That really freshened up all of us. Pity that I didn't get a chance to shout at the sea though. If not, it must be a very good taken out.

This mushroom look cabin was used as a radar station to detect enemy coming from the sea in the war era.

Lastly, we ended our day, and our short trip with a dinner in a Indian restaurant. Looks delicious? It sure was, as it reminded me the Indian food of Malaysia too. If you got a chance to visit Sapporo, make sure you drop by this restaurant then. It is called, Taj Mahal. Got it?

社会的眼睛，我的眼睛

我没有笑；
当友人对他指指点点。

我没有参与；
当其他人在窃窃私语。

我承认有一瞬间，我眉头也皱了一皱；
但是下一刻我却恨不得狠狠给自己一巴掌。

一切，只因为他独自一个人在那儿手舞足蹈，当其他人都只是拍拍手，随哼唱。

他跳得很尽兴，跳得仿佛已入无人之境；无视周围异样眼光。

我开始想：是因为他和我们不一样，还是因为我们和他不一样，而使他陷入众人的议论纷纷里呢？

我对友人说，他那是发自内心的舞蹈。
我内心想说，我羡慕他能如此放任自己的心，如此抛开种种枷锁。

我问自己，几时我开始用不一样眼睛看待其他？
我问自己，难道我不也是曾经和他一样吗？

社会于我们身上有很多无形的枷锁，我们有是否有勇气把一些去掉呢？他的不一样，其实并没有怎样。比起一个到处一模一样的世界，我推崇有不一样的存在；比起社会的眼睛，我更要使用自己的。这就是所谓的孤独？

p/s：最近看着一本有关孤独的书，也许接下来会说说读后感。。。

Short Trip Part 1 - 旭岳大雪山

大雪山 is located about 3 hours from 札幌, and it is the first national park of Japan. Since my school was closed for a few days after the exam period, we planned for a short trip and set our target on that place.

One has to use the cable car to go up to a point of the mountain, before walking around the other area. Above is what I saw from the cable car. I just love this picture.

We did read from the news that the place is already covered by early snow, but we didn't expect it to be such a great scence! Everywhere is just white, and white.

Never did I expect It to snow heavily at that time too.

Ok, other visitors seemed to be well-equiped, with the thick winter clothes.

And here I am, shivering in cold, feeling nothing from my frozen feet......no, I am not complaining about the coldness. We enjoyed it instead.

And doing things like lying on the white snowy powder. I had to ask my friend to give me a hand when I tried to get up though.

Does this look like a Chinese landscape painting. It is indeed a masterpiece then, just that I don't have the skill and the camera to capture it better.

Where amazing happens? The only green I found there, with some dewdrops.

Nature does keep giving us suprise, doesn't She?

Well, I went to 富良野 again after that, as we were actually following a local tour. Never thought that I would go there again, but then see what I got here.

The lavender farm! But end of season already...... Stay tuned for my part two of short trip then.