Sunday, October 01, 2006

忧虑

转眼还有两星期就得考试,却犹记得一个多月前刚考完试的情景。套一句老套的话,仿佛是昨日的事般,一切仍历历在目。看来随着我们每一天长大,时间也随之越走越快,在我们丝毫不察觉下,飞也似地带着我们往前方奔跑,也不知路途中错过了多少东西。唯一没有错过的,是疲累吧!

八点到五点,不停断地上课,每一节都是重要的课。我想,没有几个人是可以全天候聚精会神,没放过老师教授的每一句话。也因为每一节都是重要的课,应该说,每一节都是需要深入理解的课,所以实在很难确保我们能把每一堂课都理解得七七八八。我本身就没有那十足的精神,去面对日益深奥的课程。

忧虑也因此不曾消失过。

最明显的例子就是在做功课时,往往我不会回答的问题总比别人多。基本的问题,我还不会面对什么困难,但一旦涉及重理解的问题时,我就通常束手无策了。最懊恼的是,我在别人眼中,竟是所谓优秀学生之一!而事实上当然不是。所以每当他们向我询问功课时,我心里其实是很难受的,因我自知自明,最后也会选择推荐他们去请教真正有能力的人。

坦然心已不多,忧虑感叠叠来。我不是因比较而弄得自己心慌步乱,而是不想再面对后悔没尽力的自己。那份愧疚感,虽是我“熟悉的朋友”,但我这次一定得“大义灭友”,不让它再有机会拜上我门来了。然而,要“大义灭友”也得先确保自己十八般武艺皆能随手舞来,而这一点也是我忧虑重重的原因。因我没把握、没信心,在考试前完全武装自己。

时间不等人,但愿我能把那忧虑化为动力,起码先掌握如何舞刀吧!接下来,就是枪、剑、棍 ......

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

In Malaysia, the Chinese are suppress. Yes, I think so too. Is not so much a matter, whether the rich Chinese entrepreneur made it, but is about our rights as a Malaysian citizen!

As a Malaysian citizen, don't you think that we have the rights to affordable education like anyone else in the world? As a Malaysian citizen, don't you think that we have the rights to assemble, protect our religion and voice our expression?

I can almost guarantee you that the Umno malays treat the Europeans and Japanese better that their own Malaysian Chinese.

Don't the Umno government realize that there are many more Chinese entrepreneurs who didn't made it! There are many who still live below poverty line with no education.

If you attend some of the Umno division meetings or Umno Youth meetings, the amount of Chinese bashing in the meeting is unbelievable.

But if the non-malays were to hold a meeting talking about non-malays rights such as citizen rights or religious rights, immediately Umno brand the non-malays as causing racial and religious tension.

If the malays can't treat their own citizens fairly, how much respect do you think they will earn from the international community!

Obviously some leaders like Mahathir, don't give a shit what international community think of Malaysians, until he needs money or trade, then he will start to bribe.

Robert Kuok, so called richest Malaysian has set up his head office in Hong Kong more than 20 years ago because he knew that he will never be able to expand his business had he continued in Malaysia.

Krishnan, spend most of his time in London. The richest Malaysians now are the AP kings and they are still growing. The malays already control 45% of the KLSE and had it like Carsberg, Genting, Guiness, Magnum, ToTo, their market share is probably 55%.

Can we publish the names and identify all the nominees and settle the issue once and for all! The people who are suffering are all the poor irrelevant of race.

The malays have been so selfish. Chinese, Indians……….leave Malaysia if you don't like it here that is what malay always say. Malays have to see the fact that they are also pendatang from Indonesia. Even Pakistanis with PR enjoy privileges like malays.

The Orang Asli have been always marginalised. Their option is convert to Islam to live like others. The malays have set in their mind Malaysia and everything belong to them.

Even Indonesia doesn't have such racist category. Nowhere else in the world have bumi/non-bumi double standards citizenship. So what Lee Kuan Yew say is right.

You someone miss the point here. You always look at the successful Chinese entrepreneur but you didn't look at those non-successful one.

As for the malays, you don't have to fight it out with other competitors. All you need is to join Umno and you will get government project. That in fact is the biggest corruption. The malays are usually the biggest corruptors in most government business.

(Please focus on the facts. You are not solving the real problems of the malays.)

Let us just say, all Chinese become Muslims. There will still be difference between Chinese and malays. I can still guarantee you that the Chinese will still be more successful, because we don't sit under the coconut tree and hoping for coconut to fall. (As how the late Tunku Abdul Rahman describes the malays.)

Let me tell you, the Japanese, Koreans are also corrupt. But they are still more successful. Corruption is not the major hindrance of the progress for the race. It is the race's self determination and initiative that decide the race progress.

NEP is the biggest legalise corruption practice ever establish in world history. Umno, in the name of malays protector, uses NEP to enrich their families and their friends.

If you are not one of them, malay dude, I pity you. But if you are a smart malay, you should be like Japanese.

Malays have dominated the army, government projects, KLSE big capital companies, ministry and police. What else do you want? Bungalow house, Mercedez Benz and maybe a money printing machine.

Anonymous said...

With all complains about the brain drain etc. Sometimes you just get the impression that the Malaysia government just doesn't bother to make any effort to retain those really bright ones.

To build a mosque is extremely simple. To build another religion place of worship requires applications which may be delayed up to 20 years and even beyond.

What is up with all the hypocrisy?

Malays in Singapore are given special privileges. This is because the government is conscious that they are minority citizens. The special privileges include financial, education and even political representation.

I scored straight As in every single exam I took in Malaysia. I topped my school year after year in every examination. I am active in extra curricular activities etc……….

But because I am non-malay, I have not been appreciated. Another country has recognized my talents and has offered me a generous scholarship. It has been almost 9 years in this foreign country - and it has nurtured me very well. I got all my first choices. I am considering converting my citizenship. I feel very appreciated for my talent here.

Malaysia did not help me when I needed scholarship, funding etc. The other country did and they did it generously. I can proudly say that because of the other country, I am now a very successful researcher in the life sciences field.

I have got all As in my SPM yet I could not enter local university but one the only malay of my school was given scholarship to Japan for further studies!

I studied STPM and not managed to enter local university to study science and surprised to find that the "hot" courses like medicine, law and engineering were taken up by many so-so result malay and lazy malay students!

No wonder patients mistreated, houses collapse, criminals on the street!

Thanks to Lee Kuan Yew for me to work in Singapore. It is equal opportunity here. People work hard and get rewarded and not based on race.

Singapore has almost no nature resources vs. Malaysia, yet it has strived to become a better country in many aspects. Malaysia's nature resources have been wasted by the lazy malays. When other people getting achievement, you ugly malays marginalised the rests.

Anonymous said...

Dear prime minister, I can assure you 99% of Malaysian Chinese agreed with Lee Kuan Yew since he said what has been a fact to them.

The Chinese BN leaders (so called) are just the Umno yes man, and do not represent the Chinese community most of the time, or almost all the time!

If you allow Lee Kuan Yew to stand election here, you will find that he get all the Malaysian Chinese votes and not you!

Somehow the Umno ministers like to find ways and means to waste their time on such comments yet they do to others without feeling they are wrong at all.

I have noticed a lot of time are wasted talking nonsense all these 30 years or more - which I suspect they do not know how to manage the country until they consult their experts - always at the background mostly foreigners.

I am a Malaysian Chinese living in Singapore for the past 10 years. Life has been great even as a PR. I have never once felt like a second class citizen despite being a PR.

Singapore is a meritocracy society. Everybody has a fair go in life. When I was living in Malaysia, everyday I was reminded that I am second class either through the press or on your everyday work dealings. To put it crudely, it feels like shit!

Why are we Chinese treated like this? My grandfather fought with the malays side by side during World War II defending the nation and now I am constantly reminded that I am second class. When is this NEP going to end? (Of course, we all know the answer is never.)

The last thing I want to do is go back to Malaysia. In the long term, I will change my citizenship to being a Singaporean. I don't want my children to grow up in Malaysia being told that they are second class citizens.

Let us all take the advice of the malays (offer on Umno) and leave Malaysia. Trust me, you won't regret the decision. By the way, Singapore is going for a PR drive. Please check their immigration website for details.

On the Singapore malays. They are not marginalised. They have equal opportunities and also a share of the country's wealth. Whereas in Malaysia, the NEP only benefits a few malays and the majority are left stranded.

On a fine note, do you know who face is on all Singapore dollar notes? A malay, Yusof Bin the first president of Singapore. This will never happen in Malaysia! I can guarantee this. The current president is an Indian. To all who is reading this note, ask yourself if what I am saying is true!

So, stop bashing Singapore. Lee Kuan Yew is calling a spade a spade.

I have lived through the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s. I can assure you now that the NEP is winding up instead of winding down. I am glad to be out of Malaysia (no offence to anybody).

By the way Badawi, the MCA and Gerakan running dogs are never the representatives of the Chinese in Malaysia, they are just there to lick yours and Umno balls. The Chinese in Malaysia have already disowned them. If the Chinese could, they would dragged their sorry arses to the firing range, and shoot them dead for betrayals!

Just to add: How many times Malaysia politician has openly stated "Malays in Singapore are marginalized"?

The fact is this: When Malaysia politicians saying the Singapore malays are marginalise, they are just not telling the true but playing politic. But when Lee Kuan Yew saying Malaysian Chinese is marginalised, he is telling the true and nothing but a true statement!

Unfortunately in Malaysia, you need to apologise for making a true statement, especially when it touches on Umno politician!

Anonymous said...

· Canada is a multi racial country like Malaysia.
· Canada is a relatively young country like Malaysia.
· Canada is a very progressive country.
· Canada is one of the G7 countries.
· Canada is one of the highest per capital income in the world now.
· Canada is one of the most developed countries in the world now.
· Canada allows both English and French as its official languages.
· Canada builds many 100% government subsidized French primary and secondary schools and French medium universities.
· Canada has very liberal policy in education and languages.
· Ratio of English speaking citizens vs. French speaking citizens is almost similar to malays and Chinese in Malaysia.

What is Malaysia now? Discrimination, discrimination and more discrimination!

Anonymous said...

The Chinese are not in control of the economy at all. Consider this:

Tenaga, Telekom, Proton, Petronas, Maybank, Genting accounts for more than 50% of the market capitalization of KLSE.

So basically malays already control more than 50% of the economy.

But problem is, only a few malays enjoy ownership of the economy and businesses while the rest are bleed dry. These people are millionaires and billionaires man. That is where the lies about the Chinese controlling the economy comes in, to keep themselves in that position.

So the ordinary malays are angry because they feel the Chinese stole their money. The Chinese and Indians and others are angry because they feel they are further discriminated on top of discrimination.

Non-malays on the other hand owned only 10% of such equity.

People like the Robert Kuok group were so pissed that the government pressure them to sell their business, they shifted their headquarter to Hong Kong. But when we want the world to see that one of the richest tycoons is from Malaysia, when we want fame, we said Robert Kuok is from Malaysia, not knowing that he has long gone.

What minister mentor Lee Kuan Yew has said is absolutely true. It is a simple fact. The Chinese and Indians have been marginalised since 1957, so what is new?

While the Chinese have been economically strong, the Indians have been lagging behind, simply by being a minority race in Malaysia and by being led by a complete moron for the last three decades. What is Najib so upset about?

Prove your worth as a race that can stand on theirs own two feet and succeed and you will have our respect. Until then, please just stop making a complete idiot of yourself and shut your gap.

This goes for the entire Malaysia cabinet. You are all a disgrace and a bunch of corrupt hypocrates! Malaysia would have been much better off if it had remained a British colony. Only then would there have been equality.

The malays are fall into the trap of other Umno-malays should treat like shits in Malaysia. When we demand over basic right, they always like to quote Singapore malays on not holding public position……….Please la, Singapore practise the real meritocracy, not the fake one like Malaysia.

Do Singapore systematically marginalised the malays there, the answer is definitely no, do Singapore practise discrimination on education or limited their entry to university, do Singapore limited the critical field business license to the malays, do Singapore force the Singapore malays sold off their business to the Singapore Chinese, the answer is again a big NO.

And this make Singapore malays stand high when compare to Malaysia malays.

What make the Malaysian Chinese not happy is, we already being discriminated by our home country, when anything go wrong in Umno or in malay community, the Malaysian Chinese will be the target - for shooting or divert the attention to their own problems.

Have you wondered why there are fewer Indians than malays in the general population in Singapore, that there are many more Indians than malays in high positions in politics, medicine, law, business, and many other fields that require talent and hard work in Singapore!

In Malaysia, there are tongkat or crutches available, but in meritocratic Singapore, even the smaller minority Indians outperform the bigger minority malays.

To Chinese, education is the most important thing to their next generation, so don't ask me why Chinese insist to have own stream of education until today.

To tell you frankly, I feel much comfortable when I move to UK, after few years I know they will offer me citizenship being a professional here. And as far as I know, there isn't a classification on the citizenship, I will get equal treatment as others fairly.

Anonymous said...

I think Lee Kuan Yew had a point. Yes, we do have ethnic representations in our government, but the problem that lies herein is that they too are corrupt. And it not merely the non-malay politicians who are corrupt, it is all of them, malays or non malays.

At the end of the day, yes, non-malays are marginalised when it comes down to education quota systems, government employment contracts - that is undebateable. However they are not the only ones. It is the poorer population who are suffering.

Malay and non-malay representations in our government is slacking. For it they are representing no one but themselves. My Chinese counterparts do not forget that, it is not just non-malays who are emigrating. Malays too are emigrating.

How many times do we need to keep emphasising this: We must stand together as Malaysians and fight for all peoples rights, not just malays or non-malays.

A voice, one said 'Lee Luan Yew is a racist with malice intentions on the malays from long ago'. But what about our own government?

I don't care many about Lee Kuan Yew. But I certainly do care about our own government and leader, because what they do/say affects all Malaysians. And I am pissed off that I have racist state representatives speaking (not using the opinions of the Malaysians, but using their own fascist racist rationale) in the name of Malaysia.

When they say there is no racial marginalization in Malaysia, they are lying outright. When they asked Lee Kuan Yew to apologize for his racist remarks, they are being hypocrites.

When they instill policies that favor one race over the other, when they show keris in front of audiences, when they tell other races to shut up, when they……….(ah too many examples, just fill in the blanks la), they are being racists.

And they are publicly showing their hypocritical, lying and racist stands in the name of Malaysia!

Fellow Malaysians, our leaders make all us Malaysians seem like hypocrites and liars and racists. That is shameful and outright unacceptable! (Plus we are getting sucked from all the policies too.)

(This is Ramadan month, so those Muslims who speak against their conscience that the non-malays are not marginalized should think first, for Allah is listening.)

Let us look at the actual scenario. There are unsuccessful ones in all three major races in Malaysia. Umno supporters will project all Chinese are rich and successful. This is deceit and totally rubbish.

There are some non-malay cronies that got rich but most improve their economic and education level without government assistance. This is hard work and sweat.

I can't explain and I don't know why most malays after all the assistance from government still fail to make the mark.

If one malay can afford to buy properties, why the discount?

Malay or Umno still feel non-malay especially Malaysian Chinese bashing is fun and show superiority. Honestly, this show his inner inferior complex but refuse to accept. If you can't compete even after all the grand assistance, you do bashing!

While it is true that Arab Muslim has major contribution in science in the past - what has the malay Muslim provided?

Remember you can discriminate and wave keris in Malaysia only. Do and try it in other countries - let us see what happen!

Non-malays who can afford to leave or manage to leave Malaysia for countries that appreciate them better they have done extremely well to help their new found home.

The more I look at the Mahathir old man……….I just felt sorry for him.

Let us accept that fair and free competition will not happen in Malaysia soon. It is good. In the long run Malaysia will be left behind compare to other third world.

It is sad and I pity Malaysia with many malays thinking Chinese bashing is the right thing even the so-called highly educated one.

Lee Kuan Yew is great in his truthful remarks about marginalisation of Chinese in Malaysia. Contrary to what Mahathir said. He is very well respected in China, Hong Kong, Taiwan and among oversea Chinese all over the world.

His remarks were mentioned in many international Chinese magazines/newspapers, and also news here in England. It is about time for Umno malay leaders to stop the use of outdated terms of bumi/non-bumi.

We, the World Chinese Association is making a formal complaint to United Nation department of protection for minority rights and too China foreign minister about this issue. Don't underestimate the influence of oversea Chinese.

They can have Cantonese, Hokkien, Mandarin and any number of schools that they want. They are paying for them from private donations. It is their money. Malays go to school with government money, which is taxpayers money, and more than 70% - 80% of those who pay tax are Chinese - although they are only about 25% - 30% of the population.

The international language is English and the national language is malay. If the Chinese are left out on these two languages, they suffer not the malays, so why are we so concerned whether they want to learn in Chinese, English or Malay!

Man, words of wisdom indeed. Indeed why should one be jealous if another is willing to pay and work hard according to his wishes. Bravo!